Kappa v. SlipKnot

As I was driving to work today, I observed a curious thing. There was a large group of teenagers at a bus-stop, waiting for their bus to school (I assume), and divided clealy into two groups:

 Group 1, Chavs:

For Americans and other aliens to the UK, “Chav” is the description given to  a person of working-class, usually young, who wears cheap gold jewellery (and lots of it), fake designer clothes (Hackett or Burberry baseball caps), tracksuits (Addidas and Kappa are both popular Chav brands), and pristine white trainers (Nike or other top-name brand). There tends to be an assumption that all Chavs a) live off of the welfare state, b) pump out babies from the age of 14 onwards in order to get more money from the welfare state, c) will never hold down or job or pay taxes, and d) will rob you blind given half a chance.

 Group 2, Goth-Emo Rock-Victims:

AKA EmoGoth-kids. This is pretty much universal to all Westernised countries. I don’t think a detailed description is necessary, but if I were to include one it would make refference to pink hair-dye, black lipstick, thick mascara and black nail-varnish. And that’s just the boys. The universal constant in this group, however, is the SlipKnot hoody.

The Point Of This Post:

The EmoGoth-kids were very clearly looking down their noses at the Chav kids. This is a phenomenon I have encountered before. EmoGoths tend towards arrogance towards anybody who they see as part of a “mainstream” group.

The pink hair-dye, thick mascarra and black lippy/nail varnish is worn in an attempt to be dark, interesting and “different”, but unfortunately just makes all concerned look pretentious, immature and the same as every other EmoGoth-kid. I can say all of this because I actually listen to good rock music, and can confirm that SlipKnot are shit. Good stage show, though.

Anyway, I digress. I guess I really just want to record that I found it very funny to see a group of people who are all clearly very proud of being individuals and trying very hard to look different to everybody else, with the net effect of looking exactly the same as all of their friends. It amused me. What amused me more was the obvious contempt which they were showing towards a group of people who also dressed the same as all of their friends, because they all dressed the same as all of their friends.

I will remember this next time I have to define irony. Though I may condense it a little.

Any EmoGoth reading this who takes offence, I have these words of advice for you:

Grow up and just be yourself.

Stop taking yourself so seriously.

Every time you buy SlipKnot branded clothing you are contributing to a large multinational corporation, in the same way as you would by buying Nike, Addidas or Kappa.

Any Chav reading this who takes offence, I have these words for you:

Learn how contraceptives work, then use them.

If you want more money, get a job and work hard at it.

The jewellery you buy at Argos uses industrial-grade diamonds, and you can buy better quality for less if you shop around.