Obama’s Birth Certificate FOUND!

Right here: http://fightthesmears.com/articles/5/birthcertificate

Just to clarify, that’s a certificate of LIVE BIRTH, not naturalisation, LIVE. BIRTH. Quit your pathetic smears about “vault copies”‘ - He was born in HAWAII, YOU STUPID, RACIST *£$*S! NOW SHUT THE *£$* UP!

Edit: Pay close attention to the BOTTOM of the certificate, by the way: “This copy serves as prima facie evidence of the fact of the birth in any court proceedings”. Shove your “vaulted copy” up your… Nose.

Mandatory Voter and Candidate IQ testing.

An idea I had to improve the state of US politics today:

No person with an IQ below 130 should be allowed to stand for public office.

No person with an IQ below 110 should be allowed to vote.

No journalist etc. with an IQ below 150 should be allowed to make political comment.

No person with an IQ higher than an amoeba should miss an opportunity to smash Rush Limbaugh’s brains out with a blunt object.

It’s like this, America: You guys seem to think it’s okay to be stupid, with you’re flag-worship and your (HIGHLY selective) worship of your Constitution, with your incredibly myopic yet utterly unshakable belief that your own (mostly atheist) founding fathers would want everybody to have “good Christian values” even though what you think of as “good Christian values” and what Jesus would have thought of as good values are about a billion miles apart, with your unfaltering way of answering the question “What would Jesus do?” in any given situation with the predictable response “The same thing that I’d do!” without ever considering how stupid an attitude that is, with your people in positions of power who claim to have divine and supernatural visitations and powers (something Europe got out of the way about 600 years ago, by the way), and finally (and this one’s the kicker), with you society that is SO mentally deficient that you’d allow a lying, under-educated, charmless, offensive, bimbo who believes that the world is 4000 years old and that we’re in the last days before “rapture”, to run for Vice President.

America, you are the world’s biggest international joke. The measures which I’ve suggested might, with the help of MENSA and the immediate cessation of your RIDICULOUS military spending in favour of funding education instead (5% of the world’s population, 50% of the world’s military spending, yet also the richest nation on Earth and consistently the worst educated, it’s fucking pathetic) might JUST bring you back into some form of respectability.

The other alternative is a new civil war, where the Democrats kick the republicans back down to Texas and let them get on with their in-breeding where they can’t bother anybody. You choose.

Republicans don’t know how to NOT abuse power…

… And right wingers wear their stupidity with pride.

I’m not going to talk about Obama in this post, because he’s really not that relevant to what I want to say. Frankly, if you put Charles Manson on the Democratic ticket, I’d STILL vote for them over John McSame-Old and Sarah “Lying Bitch” Palin.

McCain this week said that he is “fundamentally a deregulator” and that he wants to privatise health insurance and deregulate it so that it works the same way as the banking industry does. He said that this week.A week which has seen more financial institutions fold, be bailed out by tax money, or forced to merge than in any other time in history – including the Great Depression of the 1920s! McCain also ran a TV ad this week criticising Obama for associating with a lobbyist from Fanny May. The truth is, Obama met the man once at a party, spoke to him for a few minutes and then forgot about him – Whereas John McCain’s entire campaign team is composed of Washington lobbyists – many of them who used to work for Fanny May! You couldn’t make this stuff up! What a lying, amoral piece of shit John McSame-Old is!

Then there’s Palin. Oh, dear God, where to start… A fundamentalist Christian gun-nut who thinks that children should NOT be taught about birth-control or “the mechanics of sex” in schools because their parents should be teaching them abstinence DESPITE HER OWN 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER BEING PREGNANT!!!! How stupid do you want to be? It’s pretty obvious that Bristol Palin managed to figure out the mechanicsof sex just fine despite her mother doing her best to stop her from finding out – what a pitty that her young life is now essentially over before she’s had a chance to get any experience of the world for herself. And why? Because Mommy would never allow Bristol to know what a condom, or an IUD coil, or the birth control pill, or a diaphragm are for! Stupid, selfish bitch, spoiling her young daughter’s life – along with the lives of millions of other American girls, if she gets her way.

And there’s more! Despite the fact that we have absolute, incontrovertible proofthat the universe is billions of years old, and that evolution is proven beyond the slightest shadow of a doubt, this stupid, stupid woman wants to teach creationism in schools! Creationism! What is this, the dark ages?

And, on top of allof that – She fired a man for refusing to help her persue a vendetta against her brother in law. She abused the power given to her as the governer of a wilderness state – What on Earth do you think she’d do as VP or, God forbid, President?

We’ve had 8 years of a stupid, selfish, right-wing, Christian-fundamentalist idiot in the White House. So far it’s directly cost more than 100,000 lives (for which I sincerely hope Bush, Blair, Rice and Cheyney are charged with 100,000 counts of murder), all because one man wanted a war – and don’t be fooled, there was no other reason for it than that. George W Bush wanted a war in Iraq, and made damned sure that he would get one at all costs – including deleting a page from the joint intelligence report which stated that Iraq was not a threat and was never likely to be a threat so long as they were not provoked, inventing reasons to fight which did not really exist and ignoring UN weapons inspectors who said that Iraq was not a threat, did nothave WMDs, was co-operating fully with unplanned, no-notice inspections at all of their facilities, and that they would be able to confirm within two weeksthat Saddam had no capability of producing WMDs – time which they were blocked from being allowed by George W Bush himself.

On top of this, we’re now in the ridiculous, undemocratic, unfair situation that even people like me who don’t invest or buy shares, or even have anything to do with the stock markets, can have our lives blighted by men who we have never met, gambling with our money without our permission, keeping the winnings when they win - and being totally unaccountable when they lose. It’s our pensions that become worthless, not their mansions. And now that they’re in trouble, what’s happened more taxpayer’s money, our money, is used to bail them out!

How on Earth could anybody even consider voting for McSame-Old and Lying Bitch after 8 years of this crap?

Hugh Grant, The Streets and Big Brother can kiss my arse.

Every generation in Britain produces something truly classic in the realms of music, film and television. Except, it seems, my generation. I was born in 1980, so I’d class myself as Generation X; I believe that the creative peak of myself and my peers should be the mid-to-late 1990s to the mid-to-late 2000s.

 

So. Let’s take a look at our achievements!

 

British films produced in the last 15 years which are timeless classics: Um…. Well, Hugh Grant played a lot of floppy-haired posh guys…. And… Um…. Yeah….

Come to think of it… We’ve not actually made anything decent that wasn’t a bond movie, and Generation X can hardly lay claim to the creative credit for that. Where’s Get Carter? Zulu? The Italian Job? Bugsy Malone? A Bridge Too Far? The Great Escape? It seems that we can’t make decent films anymore. I should clarify: Sliding Doors, Four Weddings and A Funeral, Bridget Jones’ Diary and all other such “Brit Rom Coms” are NOT good films, they are the testicle sucking rectal warts of the film world. If you think that they ARE good, then you are wrong. There is not debate here.

 

British music produced in the last fifteen years which is timeless and classic: Errrrrrr…. Jees, that’s a tough one… Except it’s not, really. We don’t make good music anymore, not since Indy died. Oasis were and are mediocre at best (it’s a measure of just how poor British music has become that they receive such plaudits), The Streets are utterly talentless dog-wank (“Shakespeare for the new generation” my fucking arse!) and should actually die, the ENDLESS stream of saccharin plastic wannabe r-n-b churned out by the likes of Simon Cowell actually makes me want to cry… and that’s about it. I suppose there was Joss Stone, but she did one respectable album, went to the States and become shit… Robbie Williams likewise. Blur and Gorillaz? Well, okay, both very good, but hardly timeless classics. We’re nil for two so far.

 

Television produced by Brit Gen X which is timeless and classic: I can name two. Just two shows. “This Life” and “The League of Gentlemen”. And I bet hardly anybody else has even heard of “This Life”. Conversely, we’ve had almost a decade of Big-Horrible-Freakshow-Brother, so much home-makeover porn that it beggars belief, ten thousand “celebrity” chefs (Ainsley Harriot: Die. Just fucking die) and a million zero-budget quiz shows. And soaps. Endless, interminable hours of misery pumped out of our screens along with a LOT of American shite and a LITTLE bit of American genius. Then there’s Ricky FUCKING Gervaise, who (let’s be honest) also needs to fuck off and die. “The Office” was okay, but would have been FAR better without him. So, since “This Life” and “The League of Gentlemen” are so horribly outnumbered, I’m calling this nil for three.

 

Britain’s Generation X (me included): You are a talentless non-creative bunch of washouts! DO BETTER!

Lift etiquette for office denizens

Ten to nine on a Monday morning, the lift-lobby of my office completely deserted, I call a lift, board and push “14” – and THEN twenty other people arrive, all stopping at floors one through thirteen. The claustrophobic at the back (me) takes a deep breath, grits his teeth and closes his eyes. This is all made worse by the lift doors, which are broken and take fully thirty seconds to open and another thirty to close, the sheer density of the crowd, which precludes any idea of escaping to wait for another lift and the weather, which is a balmy 29 centigrade outside and a stifling 38 in the airless, enclosed, crowded lift…

 

Is this a familiar story to you, too? Welcome to my working days.

 

I don’t understand the lack of manners that causes people to cram into lifts when they are already overcrowded.

 

You know the scenario: You’re going down to the lobby to collect a visitor. The lift is stopping at every floor on the way down to be filled with smelly smokers desperate to escape for their next cancer-stick. It gets crowded. Then, you stop on a floor about halfway down, and there it is – The Behemoth.

 

The lift is crammed. You have an anonymous nicotine addict wedged into each armpit, a midget’s elbow crushing your testicles and a sweat-stained back in your face. You look at The Behemoth. You survey the lift. You can see the lazy, chubby, fat-arsed, androgynous blob surveying the lift. You see the light of decision in its eyes. You think “You must be fucking joking!”, then realise you’ve said it out loud. The Behemoth advances like a fleshy snow-plough, crushing helpless passengers even further into the steel walls of the lift as it advance… At this point, it’s not uncommon for claustrophobes like myself to pass out, but to be unable to fall due to the density of the crowd in the lift. Personally, I normally wake up about halfway between standing and prone (heading rapidly for the latter) as the lift empties on the ground floor.

 

I have to wonder: Is it just me who thinks that when the lift is clearly full already you should just smile and wait for the next one? I understand the demands of nicotine, I smoked for fifteen years. I know that sometimes you’re running late and need to get to your desk. I concede that there are all kinds of reasons while you might be in a rush. I don’t, however, see any of them as reasons to completely abandon all manners and niceties and cause a lift full of people to suffer even more than they already are.

“Pro-lifers” in the UK are dicks. Again.

Welcome to the 1968 abortion-law debate. 40 years later. Parliament is scheduled to vote on the Human Embryology Bill next week, which includes a whole raft of laws from allowing parents to artificially create a foetus to produce donor cells for a sick sibling, to using the empty shells of animal eggs to grow human tissue from cell nuclei (avoiding the need to fertilise human eggs with human sperm – bizarrely enough to appease the religious right). The most divisive part of the Bill, however, is a proposal to slash the time limit for a woman to have an abortion from 24 weeks of pregnancy to 20 weeks. The basis of the argument for this is that anti-abortionists believe that premature babies can and do now survive from 20 weeks onwards. Let’s examine that belief, shall we?

 

A gentleman by the name of Professor David Field, a consultant neo-natal paediatrician from the neo-natal unit at Leicester Royal Infirmary carried out two studies, the first between 1994 and 1999, and the second between 2000 and 2005. The study was over a huge population with no pre-selection of candidates – all premature births in the study’s catchment were included.

 

What those studies showed was this: only 18% of babies born at 23 weeks survived – in BOTH periods. Survivability of super-premature (pre 24 week) babies has not improved at all. The study went further: of all the babies born at 22 weeks or earlier, none survived. Not a single solitary one, in either study.

 

What’s the counter argument?

 

Nadine Dorries, Conservative MP sums it up: “…this report insults the intelligence of the public and MPs…. Where has all the money that has been pumped into neonatal services gone, then? [the report is] tosh produced by the pro choice lobby”

 

Um…. The money’s gone to trying to improve survivability? Trying takes money – it doesn’t, however, guarantee success. And…. Her opinion is more valid than a ton of evidence? Why? Sorry, but bullshit!

 

What should we believe? Two peer-reviewed, published studies carried out over large populations and several years by a highly qualified doctor in the field? Or a neo-conservative, religious zealot’s unqualified rantings?

 

This is a real no-brainer if you examine it: “pro-lifers” know that they can’t get abortion banned – it has 76% public support in the UK – but that isn’t going to stop them trying to erode it over time: Drop it to 20 weeks…. Now 18…. Now 15…. Now 12…. Now 4 weeks…. Now ban the morning-after pill…

 

It’s regressive and it’s harmful to force women to bear children which they’re incapable of raising, which they do not want, which will be severely disabled by genetic disorders or the mother’s drug or alcohol use, which are the result of a rape, which are incestuous…

 

Religious right-whingers: Your day has been and it has gone in the UK. Your ridiculous beliefs are not relevant to our lives, and people resent your constant interference and attention seeking. Fuck off and grow up, learn to take responsibility for the world yourself instead of blaming the mythical sky-daddy, and stop fucking with everybody else’s lives and freedoms on the basis of your own ignorant beliefs. In short, just fuck off.

Jesus Hillary! Will you go away already?

I make no secret of the fact that I’ve never been a massive fan of Hillary Clinton. I’m not an American, but if I was I’d be a Democrat, and I do like Bill Clinton as a person. I also think that his presidency did a massive amount of good in the US versus the Republican administrations either side of him. He seems like a genuinely warm and intelligent person. I say all of this because I don’t want to be accused of being a neo-con having a rant when I say:

 

Hillary Clinton IS The Terminator. With less natural charm and warmth.

 

She comes across as very insincere and try-hard anyway in the way that she speaks; you just get the impression that she’s desperate to make her mark in history as the first female President of the United States, regardless of what it costs, what she has to do to achieve it, the damage she’s doing to the Democratic party or whether she’s actually the best person for the job. She just doesn’t seem to care at all; it’s all about getting that nomination, and to hell with the consequences – inconvenient little things like her dirty-tricks and slander campaign against Barrack Obama alienating all of his supporters to the extent that, if she does get the Democratic nomination, a majority of his supporters are likely to boycott the polls and hand victory to John McCain anyway.

 

This whole lack of integrity annoys the hell out of me; we’ve had 8 years of George W Bush stealing votes to gain power and the massive fallout which that created – now, it seems, Reverend Mother Hillary and her Death Commando Cult of Blind Faith are determined to do the same thing:

 

“Count Florida!” They say – Sorry guys, but there are rules, and Florida broke them.

“Count Michigan!” They say – Hold on, Obama didn’t even run in Michigan because he knew it wouldn’t be counted! If he had run, on current form he might well have won it and have already secured the nomination.

 

What annoys me the most about Hillary is, paradoxically, what would the situation be if the roles were reversed between Clinton and Obama?

 

Obama has so much integrity that you just know he’d bow out gracefully for the good of the party – and if he didn’t, Hillary is such a harridan that you just know she’d be screeching for his blood.

 

Hillary, get a grip. Time to take a Valium, calm the hell down and do what’s right for the US – and that does NOT include continuing your ridiculous campaign.

 

PS – To those of you who think that, as a Brit, this is none of my business: You underestimate the impact which your Presidential election has on the 52nd state (the 51st state being Israel, of course).

A harsh rant about Indonesia and other third-world dictatorships.

Reports in this morning’s papers say that 10,000 have been killed in Indonesia by a cyclone and that it has left 1,000,000 people homeless. In an unprecedented move, the Indonesian government have said that they will accept international aid in this, their time of need.

 

So… Having resisted (read: ignored) international pressure over their corrupt military dictatorship, appalling human rights abuses and their political prisoners, now they want help…

 

Folks, it’s like this: When you give money to corrupt regimes in “aid”, a large chunk of it magically sticks to the hands of the rulers of said corrupt regimes. That part of it which actually goes where it was meant to go keeps the population just well fed enough that they won’t overthrow their government themselves. Zimbabwe, anybody? How do you think Robert Mugabe is a US dollar multi-billionaire in a country with 6000% inflation? And why do you think that a population with 85% unemployment hasn’t overthrown him yet?

 

Easy: “The people are always only three meals from revolution” – that’s true in any society in the world. So, what I want to know is this: Why are we providing the three meals which prevent the people of oppressed third-world regimes from deposing rulers who are morally abhorrent and who we don’t want in power anyway?

 

My take on the Indonesian cyclone is easy: Allow the UN to station troops in Indonesia, arrange for democratic elections, free ALL of their political prisoners, and THEN we’ll help to feed the people. Quid pro quo.

 

Only it never works like that does it? “Why should the people suffer because of their rulers?” – because those same rulers bleed Western aid dry at the same time as making us pariahs and scapegoats for all of their countries’ ills, and the bottom line is that the people are the only people who can change it. We need to remove their motivation for tolerating the status-quo.

A life-changing career change?

Having finally admitted to myself that spending 95% of my time sitting behind a desk is doing nothing but destroying my soul and growing my arse, I have decided to change careers. So far in my working life I have been trained as an investigator, an interviewer, an enforcer, an administrator, a bookkeeper, a risk analyst, a financial analyst and a tax expert. The truth is that I hate all of it. It bores me to the point where I am genuinely worried about losing intellectual capacity through lack of use. I’m not challenged. My employer does not value me. I’m stuck in a deep rut of soullessness and tedium.

 

What really scares me about this is: I’ve probably just described how 90% of office workers in the UK feel! What does that tell us about ourselves as a society? Personally, I think we’re screwed!

 

So… What to do? The answer for me is (hopefully) nursing. I’ve applied to go back to university and do a degree in nursing. I’ve also applied for a severance package from my employer to help fund it.

 

I’m surprised at how normal it feels to have made this decision and taken these actions. I’m not frightened or worried that I might be making a mistake – I’m just relieved to be finally moving forwards with my professional life and giving myself hope for a way out of the rut. It took a long time for me to work up the courage to do this, but now it’s in progress, I feel good about it. There’s no fear left, only anticipation.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is: Don’t be afraid to admit that you’re not happy with your life, and don’t be afraid to change it!

Road rage.

I think that, before I launch into a tirade, I should give you a little background.

 I’m a country boy. The pace of life where I grew up has two sppeds, and they’re both really slow. It’s okay. Everybody knows everybody (which is cool), and everybody knows everybody’s business (which is less cool).

 Everybody also loves to drive rally cars (which is very cool), and just generally enjoys driving and all things motoring related. And I loved to drive. I mean, I LOVED to drive.

 Anyway, about a year and a half ago, I moved to a city. It turns out, city driving is not like country driving. There are no rules. There are no manners. There is no thought. It is not nice.

Today: Approaching a box junction on a four-lane road. Left lane for turning left, right lane for straight on. And, in the case of the jackass in front of me yattering on his mobile phone, BOTH lanes, at 5 miles per hour.

Now, being a reasonable sort of chap, I tooted my horn in as friendly away as I could. So. He slowed down. He looked back out of his window. He flipped me the bird. He yelled a torrent of abuse at me.

This is quite common in city driving: Ass-hat does something wrong to you, ass-hat blames you and road-rages you.

Oh, by the way, I’m a qualified driving instructor. My opinion of what’s wrong with people’s driving is invariably correct.

Anyway. The lesson here is this: When you road rage somebody, better pray it’s not a country boy. There are those of us who, purely hypothetically, might follow you home and belt seven shades of shit out of you for being such a twat. You road rage people because you think you are safe and there